AT LAST - SPRING/SUMMER IS HERE!!

Greetings, dear readers!! Since January I have been on a roller coaster ride!  Following my last apt. with Dr. D. in Boston, we took a "bucket list" trip to Sedona Arizona - what a beautiful place!!  We flew into Phoenix and picked up our rental car - speeding on to Sedona that night.  Our little reso

rt, the Arroyo Pinyon, was cozy - with a Jacuzzi tub in the room, along with a gas fireplace and a giant king sized bed.  This was our home base as we explored central Ariz.  The most amazing thing was my bucket list item - the hot air balloon ride!!  We spent an hour and a half in the air, reveling in the quiet floating above the earth.  It is an other-worldly sensation, to be lifted above the surface of the planet, and to embrace the quiet, the butterfly sensation.  We also explored Jerome, a former copper mining town, now an artist and hippie hang out, filled by day with middle aged pudgy tourists with capri pants, fanny packs and  cameras!  Also, we bundled up and went into the desert at night to view the "big sky" display of amazing stars.  A truly inspiring trip. 

Since returning, I've been off chemo (yea!  yea!) and taking Essiac tea and Simpson oil.  Thought they were working until this weekend when my liver decided to act up - and I spent this afternoon throwing up!  I had been planning to return to work this week, but that's off the table.  We shall see!  Always a new adventure.  Life goes on such as it is - but at least it's beautiful weather.  I sat in the sun this afternoon writing thank you notes to my many friends.  My BFF Judy asked friends at work, in the literacy community and at Bell St. to make a square for a quilt for me.  She got 26 squares! Friday night, about 20 people came to the house - a total surprise to me.  Beth had told me she was having her friends fro her former job - that made sense to me.  We worked all day to clean house and get ready - then around 5:30 Beth Whitehead from BCC showed up.  I greeted her by saying - how nice of you to stop in!  Beth is having friends over, but come on in for a glass of wine.  Next, my long time Prov. Adult Ed. friend Nancy Fritz showed up - I was still clueless - surely just a coincidence!  Finally when friends Ellen and Stu showed up it was becoming clear - this wasn't a party for Beth's friends, it was a party for ME!!  

I am so spoiled by the love and loyalty showed to me  - I was blown away by the outpouring of appreciation and affection.  I am truly blessed. 

UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE!!

Dearest readers - long hiatus!  I've now had six adriamycin treatments an am waiting on the CAT.  I'm on sick leave again, so just biding time.  Otherwise, am keeping busy with garden help, collectibles organizing, etc.  And we're digging out!!  wow, what a storm!!  We got about 18 - 20" - some areas got 2 - 3 feet!!  While NYC was spared, New Jersey was slammed.  So the world is digging out!

Meanwhile, the conflict in the world goes on.  Hard to believe that Boehner invited Netanyahu to speak - a clear slap in the face.  We are attempting to negotiate a peace for the middle east, but this flies in the face of these negotiations.  What is happening in Syria?  What about the problem of massive refugees?  The news is filled with "deflategate" and other nonsense - and I search for actual news!!

I've been thinking recently about my legacy - what am I leaving?  What have I accomplished? What has changed?  Yes, I participated in civil rights actions - yes, I saved Jim (and Dan) - yes I have helped hundreds of students get a GED - yes I have mentored our Madelin.  My life has moved in positive directions.  I have not led huge movements, but have contributed on a one-to-one.  Many thoughts. 

So the whole world waits - will write soon!!

BETTER NEWS - MORE HOPE for the SEASON!!

Hi loyal followers!  I'm happy to say that the news while still not the best appears somewhat less dire than originally thought.  I had my first chemo, little to no side effects, and feeling okay. We have moved beyond shock to our usual hope and LIFE centered path.   Send those "shrink" messages out into the universe!

Meanwhile we move into the hectic world of holiday shopping etc.  We will celebrate with the Grossi, Cantone crew on Christmas day - with invited guests.  This should be as usual a merry gathering!  We can't wait to visit niece Sarah, her man Matt, the five kids now there, plus sis Susan and Tom after Xmas in Albany. (Sarah & I have the Christmas Spirit!!)

I am planning to be active once again with the American Cancer Society ASCAN - the legislative advocacy network.  We have an advocacy day at the statehouse to lobby for cancer based legislation such as greater support for research, more tobacco restrictions, etc.  In addition our Unitarian congregation, Bell St. Chapel, is keeping us busy with social action - Standing on the Side of Love.  We are thrilled with our new young woman pastor who is a strong progressive and already has increased outreach to our neighborhood and local social action

So!  LIFE goes on (yea!) and we are back on track fighting the buggies.  Much love for the holidays for all!

NEW & DAUNTING DEVELOPMENTS

Dear loyal readers - sorry I have been AWOL for a month - but we are dealing with daunting news.  Since my successful surgery in August, it appears that a new aggressive form of my cancer has become active - I have extensive new growth in my liver, and additional growth in the area of my colon.  In addition, the remaining tumor in my pelvic area has doubled in size.   I was doing fine (I thought) back at work and feeling okay.  Then we had a potluck at church two weeks ago, and that night I had deep stomach cramps - I thought I had gotten a touch of food poisoning.  I took some icky maalox type stuff, but this didn't help.  I emailed my doc to see if there was something stronger I could take, and he suggested I see the nurse practitioner in RI.  Then he called me back personally.  He had seen my last CAT scan (from October) and realized that this new aggressive cancer was on the move.  

Beth and I went to see Dr. D. in Boston on Friday - the news was not great.  Basically, Dr. D said that if I didn't get treatment, I would not survive a month.   With chemo, he feels I can buy time, but still suggested that life expectancy may only be several months - less than a year.

WHAT???  But I don't feel THAT bad - how could I be on the path to last days??  We are still trying to digest this news.  Right now, I'm scheduled to start adriamycin chemo next week, with  a second infusion in three weeks.  After that, I'll have another CAT, and we'll see what the prognosis is.  Meanwhile Beth and I are in shock, but focusing on living life to the fullest for as long as we have.  Sorry to bring cloudier news to my usually positive blog, but after all, life IS a terminal condition. 

Otherwise, the holiday season is in full swing - we have our little tree up, and are planning the festivities.  Most importantly, we want to celebrate LIFE during this holiday time. 

I WISH ALL MY LOYAL READERS A WONDERFUL HOLIDAY SEASON - REMEMBER, LIFE IS SHORT, SO DON'T WASTE A MINUTE!  KEEP DANCIN', MY FRIENDS!! XX

FALL IS HERE, THERMOMETER DROPPING!

MEMORIES OF SUMMER...

Greetings loyal readers!  Another long break in blogging - have been busy getting back to full time work!  Luckily, I have healed well from the extensive surgery in August and am on the job.  While the weather is bringing fall chill, I've had warm welcoming here at BCC.  It's great to be back working with students in the Reading Lab, and continuing efforts to build support for autistic and deaf students here at BCC.

Sadly, several friends and acquaintances have succumbed to various cancers over the summer and early fall.  These experiences of loss of course remind me of my good luck in surviving so far, despite my difficult diagnosis.  Increasingly I feel that the combination of my general good health (no chronic conditions other than cancer), my fabulous support from my wife Beth, her family, my family and



my family of friends have all contributed to my continuing quality of life.  Yes, I am able to greet my condition as positively as possible, thanks to hears of positive reinforcement from my irrepressible Mom.  I also credit my work with expressive arts, and ongoing use of medical cannabis.  Hopefully soon we will have official trials that will show the positive tumor reduction capabilities of cannabis!  I am on a chemotherapy break (yea!) and will have a CAT scan in November to determine the next course of action.  There is active cancer remaining, but hopefully is non aggressive and shrinking!.

So now we approach the new survival challenge - WINTER!!  I embrace this time of chill and dark as a time for snuggling in for reflection and more writing.  I won't have the privilege of sitting daily by the woodstove as I did during my sabbatical, but will retreat to my recliner by the fire whenever possible to contemplate life, survival and mortality!   (Also to continue seeking good cancer jokes and cartoons...)  Will write sooner - xSal

SURVIVING (TO INFINITY AND BEYOND!)

What a lovely time of year to recuperate in New England!  Since survival is about focusing on life and its inevitable cycles, it behooves me to see the amazing beauty in every season, even as the vibrant life of summer gives way to the glory of autumn transition.   I'm not sure why this 70 year old body is able to heal more easily than many.  Clearly I came into this adventure with physiological strength not available to many.  But there's so much more to it.

I was able to walk around our across the street parking lot five times today - getting stronger as I write.  I do have down days - yesterday was a kind of "blue" day, with unusual exhaustion and lack of initiative.  But a part of survival is allowing oneself to visit those places, to recognize the emotions, and move on. Like the Buddhist meditation advice when trying to clear the mind, allowing those emotions to pass by like leaves in the stream - acknowledging them but  observing as they pass on.

 

I think I am able to do this because I stay engaged with so many folks.  I believe a community of support is essential - a community that supports the condition but doesn't just view me through the lens of the big "C".  We cancer survivors are the same people we were before diagnosis, with just an overlay of consciousness about mortality and the need to appreciate each day, each season.

 

In addition, involvement in creative activities has been such a large part of this process for me.  And I say to those who say "I'm not creative" - everyone is creative - everyone can express themselves creatively through their strengths.  So I continue to move towards re-entry (thanks Buzz Lightyear - to Infinity and Beyond!) with applause for all who are my supportive family! xx

 

KATHERINE BACK HOME, SPLEEN IS HISTORY!

Greetings loyal readers - thought I had posted last week but apparently didn't confirm.  Yes!  I a spleen free, and Katherine the redoubtable hernia is back in her home.I had surgery at Massachusetts General hospital - what a marvelous institution.  My surgery team were grand, the nurses amazing, and the CNA's, cleaning crew and all friendly and efficient.No wonder this is a number #1 hospital in the country!

The purpose of these snips is to stem possible spreading.  I do still have a little active C, but hopefully with a bit more chemo, I'll be back in NED (no evidence of disease). 

I realize from this experience (Beth was able to stay in the room with me - we had an amazing view of the Charles!  Nothing so calming as watching sailboats slide along the river).  So I'm home healing for a month or so - chance to complete my sabbatical report, read some great books, continue writing my grandmother's biography, and do some drawing/ painting.   I promise to write more soon - at least once per week.  As all of us watch fearfully the continued conflicts around the globe.  xxSal