Hi friends! Much too long, but still having computer problems - amazed I was able to illustrate this post. ( I love this mandala - phases of the moon and pathways of the heart - like the strange and uneven passage of time and the phenomenal network of friends (all of you] who have accompanied my journey.)

My train tracks continue to heal - the staples are gone, only a line from the navel to the tree line - and I'm feeling fine (get tired, but also cabin fever!) Today I go to the oncologist to talk about future treatment: choice one (hopefully) a chemo break - with monitoring to be sure the little monster hasn't recurred. Choice two: maintenance chemo ( one infusion a month) that will allow me to return to work. Choice three - more intensive chemo - but I don't think this will be necessary. Always in limbo!!

I've written often about 'living in the present' - and now with some of the worst behind me for the moment, this is more and more important. I continue to paint and write, and watch the amazing changes going on in the world. The allure of 'freedom for self government' has erupted in the middle east in ways not predicted at least by us in the west. And of course, here at home we have our own challenge to 'voice' as the governor of Wisconsin attempts to set aside the right of public workers to participate in collective bargaining - to have a voice in developing the contracts that rule their lives. It seems that Republicans are truly attempting to defeat union strength in supporting the Democratic party and liberal ideology that invites full participation in decisions that affect us.

So I continue my 'armchair' observing (recliner, actually) and consider how I can best support movements for progressive social change in my somewhat compromised state. But I'll be fully active before long! Thanks for 'listening' dearest readers - Hopefully March will come in like a lamb, after the snowy lion of February. xxSal

ON THE MEND: THE AMAZING HUMAN BODY

So I made it through, dear readers, and broke out of the ward yesterday! Docs and nurses were great, and other than the constant "wake up for testing" the snip and sweep went well. I met a delightful chaplain, Caroline, and several great nurses, especially Janet who was both caring and lively. I was quite impressed that she has volunteered twice in Haiti: we agreed that such experiences enrich our lives in unexpected ways.

I have a lovely set of tummy staples to mark the staple and sweep out region, which will result in a lovely tummy ridge. Guess the thong bikini is out for this year... It is amazing that our bodies can mend from such aggressive invasion. Not that the body doesn't protest (hey, what the ##&&** are you doing to me?? Get the H out of there!)

At this point, the docs have to wait on 'pathology' to figure out next steps. I will in all likelihood be home mending for 6 - 7 weeks or so, but do hope to go back to work once I'm mended. I won't know about future treatment for about a month - but will continue my support services, especially the wonderful meditation/ visual expression group. While cancer is not a 'gift', it has provided an opportunity to explore my inner self and the strange process of becoming ourselves.

In this land of snow, I can't say that sitting by the fire and concentrating on healing is all bad. Just don't make me laugh too much!! I'll continue my writing and painting as I sew myself back together: who knows, I may discover a whole new adventure! Each day, each hour each minute: I love life! xxSal