Have Chemo - make new friend!! A new adventure. Went in to the Chemo center at W& I - was ushered into a small room with recliners, a t.v., chairs for visitors. A woman was already 'hooked up', and her friend was with her. Beth and I settled in - my chemo nurse 'June' (I call her Junebug) attempted to hook me up - had trouble with the veins - so the head nurse found another. I am truly a pincushion at this point. Gabby Girl that I am, I began chatting with my 'roommates'. Barbara is on treatment #4 for breast cancer - her care giver, Shannon, a niece, (only 42) has had both breast and lung cancer - cancer free at the moment.
We found much in common with our 'roomies', (they didn't mind our chattiness) and the time went quickly for several hours. A strange phenomenon - poison dripping in, targeting those bad boys in the body. Our chats with Barb and Shannon reinforced my growing understanding of how many of us are affected by cancer, yet in many ways we walk invisible among the innocent.
The calming effect of our roomie chatting calmed down both Beth and myself. We had had a difficult night and morning. The devil fear had crept in, despite my ongoing efforts to ban such thoughts and emotions. I know I have to let those feelings in sometimes, but it is exhausting. I will write more later about fear - am looking at the unbelievable power of this emotion.
Beth left at noon, and friend Judy joined me for several hours - sandwich lunch courtesy of the chemo center, lots of cranberry juice. Judy and I talked spirituality and randomness. The random nature of such things as cancer is an overwhelming reality for me - who knew??
The last hour or so I meditated, sketched, read. Junebug unhooked me - Beth came to fetch, and I escaped. Last night I was wide awake (the steroids apparently) but managed to get to sleep. More pills pills pills. Strange for me as I have never taken many meds. Am home today measuring the after effects. So far nothing! Hope to be one of the lucky ones. So that's a chemo day, friends. Meditate for Apop! xxSal
Hi Sal,
ReplyDeleteOne down and five to go. I hope the rest go as well as the first. My hunch is that everyone else in the room was quite happy to get to meet and talk with you.
I will be down to Providence one of these days and will give you a call one of these nights. In the meantime, I am holding you fast in all the light I have (and I have a lot).
love,
Sally
Hi Sally, I have you as my first bookmark, and I am glad to be able to check in with you. Barbara and Shannon's day was better for having you in it! I don't know if creative visualization works from afar, but it's worth my try, right? xo
ReplyDeleteHey, you know I'm not into the supernatural, but I just had to type some letters to confirm who I am so that I could post a comment. The letters spelled "tuatopop" . Use a little Italian and it's like "You're to apop!" Seriously!!
ReplyDeleteHey Sal and Beth,
ReplyDeleteI heard from Connie that you had a setback.... another thing to battle. When I read your post today Tuesday..I was struck by your phrase, "we walk invisible among the innocent" I am struggling with what to say/comment on this precious blog. I'm usually so direct so I'll stay thay way. I am pulling for you with love and praying for strenght for you and Beth. I hope that in the next few weeks we can start talking about the weather :)
I think this may REALLY work!! Am at the studio working on the second version of the plaque..
ReplyDeleteI love you.