Guest Author:Caregiver's Story....

Dear Loyal Readers:

1. About a month ago I received an e mail from Cameron St. John, who had discovered my blog.  

   He asked if I could put his story on my blog.  One important element of support for those of us 

   who are patients and caregivers is our connection to each other, as only we understand the

    impact of this disease on both patient and caregiver/family.  It is with please that I introduce

    this honest and hopeful story - another tale of love and survival!  Here is Cameron's story:

   
   

   .A Caregiver's Story

   
   I was a caregiver to my wife, who suffered from mesothelioma cancer. She has told me that she

    cannot comprehend how difficult it must have been for

    me, and I have only brought up the 

   subject to her once. I hope to share more freely with

    the following story.
   
   Our first and only child was born three months before

    my wife was diagnosed. We went from 

   being joyous to being afraid and uncertain about the

    future. When the doctor told us it was

    mesothelioma, I looked at my crying wife and

    wondered how we would deal with the situation.

    I was very overwhelmed with emotion as the doctor 

   informed us of the choices we had and 

   the difficult decisions still ahead.
   
   Right after the diagnosis, I experienced severe anger in which I had difficulty controlling myself,

    and I often used profanity. Over time, realizing that I needed to be there not only for my wife but 

   also for my daughter, I regained emotional control. While I still had slips, I made an effort to 

   show strength in my wife's presence and give her something to lean on.
   
   One of the most valuable lessons I learned was how to prioritize my time. My list of tasks was 

   endless, involving our daughter, our pets and making travel arrangements. I managed to

    accomplish what I needed to by focusing on the most important things and accepting help from 

   other people when I needed it. We were fortunate that so many people cared and wanted to

    help. Even so, I felt weighed down by all the responsibility I was carrying.
   
   Following Heather's surgery in Boston, there was a period of two months that was extremely

    difficult. She was in South Dakota with her parents and our daughter, who had been staying 

   with them. The purpose of the trip was to allow Heather recovery time between the surgery and

    the next step in her mesothelioma treatment, which was radiation and chemotherapy. During 

   this 60-day period, I saw my wife and daughter only once, after driving 11 hours through a 

   snowstorm. I had left work on Friday and had to return by Monday, so it was a quick turnaround 

   trip that left me little in the way of quality time.
   
   Despite how difficult it was to be separated from my family, I do not look at that dark period as 

   any kind of loss. Having Heather and Lily stay with Heather's parents was the most sensible 

   thing to do, as I would not have been able to care for her on my own and still go to work each day. It was something that had to be done and only one of the many challenging decisions we were forced to make. I was grateful we still had the ability to make those choices.
   
   During that time, I learned that it was okay to let others help me and take some of the burden

    from my shoulders. It helped us both feel like we were still in control during all the uncertainty.

    Through all of our struggles, Heather is still here and still healthy over six years later. 

   I hope that our story can be a source of hope and help to those currently battling cancer.

   
   

   Note to all: Responses welcome - let's keep the support conversation going!