EXPRESSING LIFE

Greetings Dear Readers!  So three infusions are done in this latest adventure - feeling pretty well, fewer side effects, hopeful for outcomes (immune numbers heading downstream!)  This weekend I will begin the three weekend series of Expressive Arts Facilitator training at Salve Regina University in Newport RI.  This will extend the work I have done with the Expressive Arts/ meditation workshops carried out by Sandra Salzillo Shields at the Women &Infants Women's Oncology center in Providence.  Her work helped me realize the incredible power of both meditation and visual expression during the healing/recovery process.  I am thrilled to be moving ahead with this experience.

As loyal readers know, I have been extremely fortunate with results of the medical treatment (chemo and radiation), experiencing few of the severe side effects with which patients often suffer.  I have had such amazing support from friends and family, especially my spouse Beth, who keeps me behaving myself (most of the time!)  As I continue to move ahead on this "chronic recurring cancer" path, I have realized the absolute importance of living dynamically:  greeting each day open for full life experience, for creativity and action. 

I am exploring the various paths of visual versus textural communication, and the power of images beyond words.  I expect these workshops will provide rich resources for many aspects of my public life, as well as giving me ideas for my personal journey with visual expression.  (this image comes from another expressive arts program called the Mandala Center in Colorado.) 

As I move ahead into new phases of exploring ways to confront recurring cancer, this will provide powerful tools to unlock our innate abilities to heal ourselves and understand how we can turn the overwhelming experience of cancer into an exploration of ways to extend our life force.  Plus I know the experience will be fun and freeing!  Will keep you posted! 

A LIFE LIVED - Dan Roy Rest in Peace

For more than two years, I've been prattling on about life and beyond - mostly my own, with this weird big C experience. During the past 40 years I helped to raise, first with their mother Arlene Roy, then with 'interim' partner Carol, finally including them in my family with my current spouse of 22 years, my Beth.  10 days ago, Dan Roy, age 48, died suddenly while performing his beloved music in Rangely ME.  It has pulled me again into deep musings about life.

Dan's life was full of peaks and valleys.  He suffered the difficult divorce of his parents at age 5 1/2, and the descent into depression by his Mom.  When the three came to live with me in Atlanta, he was a beautiful if troubled  8 year old, already playing the guitar.  He was a beautiful wistful child, finding solace and energy in his music.

During the 5 years we were in Atlanta - where I was part of the 70's radical hippie community - I remember so well going to hippie music festivals in Piedmont Park, during which Dan, merely 9 or 10 0r 11, would drag his big guitar on the makeshift stages and play with the big boys.  Those were the years too when he became enamored of the hard rock of groups like KISS and ACDC.  His mom, brother Jim, myself and Dan would put on cardboard guitar "concerts" lip syncing to the music blasting on our cheap stereo.

As Dan grew, his music matured.  After high school he took off with a variety of bands, playing small venue across New England.  This bar band existence was is life for 20 years - he became well known in the local rock circles.  This was also a time of some"valleys"; at points he lost everything, but always managed to put his life and his music back together. At a low point, he made friends over the internet with April, a local rock fan in Michigan who got to know Dan's music on the web.  Dan actually went to Michigan to stay with April for two years.  He hooked up with several local bands in the Detroit area, and played many clubs and festivals around the mid west.  He met Ted Nugent and Joan Jett, and developed his own following.

Sadly, April died, and Dan decided to return to is family environs in Maine.  He had gotten himself clean, and was determined to move ahead with his music.   In Maine, he connected with musicians and formed his new band, TriPolar.  During the last year and a half, TriPolar became a successful and popular local band, with plans to move beyond New England.  Dan was performing with TriPolar when he experienced a massive heart attack that took him from us.

This past Friday, Dan's brother Jim, his woman friend Jess, his nephew Avery and his uncle Rene led an amazing celebration of his life and music.  Family and friends shared their experiences with Dan - his larger than life personality, his humor and good nature, his foibles and high jinks.  Rather than flowers, musicians were asked to bring their guitars.  At least 30 guitars spread across the chapel as we all celebrated his life.  We celebrated his recent success - he was happier than ever before, and at the top of his game.  He left us doing what he loved, performing on stage.

Dan often exasperated his family, friends, those who love him.  But always, his optimistic energetic hopeful spirit reminded us of how we adored his crazy energy, his zest for music and life.  I hadn't seen Dan for over a year, although we communicated through Facebook, and talked on the phone.  Dan, I wish I could see you one more time, feel one of your big bear hugs, hear that infectious laugh, that evil since of humor.

Losing Dan adds to my resolve, to live every day to the fullest with whatever time I have left.  As I head back into chemo this week, I will fight for my life to carry on with passion and hope as did my Dan.  I know you're up there with the big boys, wowing the best of them with your rifs, your original songs, your musical soul.  With me, my Danny, your spirit lives on.